Dating Rules 2005

On a lighter note, props to Marc and Lauren for our discussion the other night. We have finally figured out exactly how to approach the issue of appropriate payment on dates. In normal first-date situations, s/he who asked is responsible for paying for the meal/festivities/etc. In later dates, the burgeoning couple is welcome to work out a system best suited to their individual tastes, although as a student with little money I am an advocate of the “pay-for-your-own” plan. Though unique situations can present themselves.

The “whoever asks” rule can get tricky when considering internet dating. In this situation, I really think it’s best that each pay for his/her own part of the date until a real dating situation has been established. I know a lot of girls have enjoyed internet dating because of the supply of free-food; however, I think that any woman who identifies herself as a feminist should be wary of such willingness to be so commodified on dates by the supposed purchasing power of men. I myself have often let men pay for a date, not wanting to seem rude and ungracious, and thus a new system for a new century should help us all figure this out better. I am not saying that all men pay for dinner because they have a desire to own something of the woman on that date; I think we just take for granted the capitalist relationship amongst certain constructions of masculinity and feminity on dates and it’s time for that to change. Especially if the woman in question has a steady income and the man on the internet date is a student with no steady income.

Finally, the “whoever asks” rule encounters the blind date situation. In this case, we believe that the “whoever asks” rule should be conservatively interpreted. The matchmaker should pay for the date of the poor set-up couple. Such a practice would have the added bonus of hindering careless matchmakers and their match-happy practitioning.

Happy New Year to all.